Black And White Film Enthusiast Gifts

"I knew it. All Shemp episodes."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Spoiler alert."

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

I'm Spartacus.

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Homes on Holmes"

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

Relationship Rating: His and Hers