Black And White Film Enthusiast Gifts

"I knew it. All Shemp episodes."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Herman Mankiewicz

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Getting to Know You

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Buster Keaton

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

"Spoiler alert."

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

I'm Spartacus.

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

"Homes on Holmes"

Quentin Tarantino

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

"The cape comes off too."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'