Bistro Aficionado Gifts

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'You're going to have to concentrate harder on your French lessons, Muriel !'

'Every time she drinks Champagne, the bubbles go right to her head.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

La Table

Welcome Spring.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Two vegans, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"....and hold the garlic."

Last Chance For Reality

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Choice hellhole

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'How was the squid?'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'