Bistro Aficionado Mugs

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'You're going to have to concentrate harder on your French lessons, Muriel !'

'Every time she drinks Champagne, the bubbles go right to her head.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

La Table

Welcome Spring.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

Back to school.

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Two vegans, please."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Last Chance For Reality

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"....and hold the garlic."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'