Birthday Dodger Gifts

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

The game is tied, and this is the final inning because the sun is setting. I understand, coach, I need to get home before dark!

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

The four housemen of procrastination

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

The Graveyard of Past Deadlines

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

'What do you mean we can't finish on time? Do you want history to say that Rome wasn't built in a day?'

",,,and what's more Pearson, it hasn�t gone unnoticed that you're not meeting deadlines"

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

"You've seen Grace under pressure. Here's Grace after the pressure is off."

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

In the Fever Cubicle

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"I'm listing my deadlines by due date so I can miss them in chronological order."

"That's just my agent - pay him no heed."

"It's your turn to change his diaper!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

'You have three days left to finish this project!' 'I'll take Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas!'

'Boss, I DID seize the day, but it wouldn't hold still.'

Sleeping through new year celebrations

'I see, from your resume, that you have lost your last two jobs because of lateness.'

Delay in construction works

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)