Thanksgiving Dodger Gifts

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Happy Turkey Day!

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Motivation

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

"Pretend relationships are better than real ones."

'Dinner.'

Why Pilgrims wore so many buckles...

A turkey holds up a sign reading "Repent!"

It can be bloody hard work to avoid the relatives at Christmas.

"Cuttin' out the middle man!"

"Hey, what do you say we just skip Valentine's Day this year?"

"Okay, okay... so, I didn't kill the bird myself. What's the big deal?"

Turkey Hostage.

The Horn O' Plenty Quintet

'You can uncover your eyes now, dear. The dessert cart is out of sight.'

'My wife said it was up to me - I could come to her sister's wedding, or go to Vegas with you and the guys. Guess what I chose?'

"You haven't seen any turkeys around here, have you?!"

'Good report Bob but it's not quite there yet.' And neither was Bob.

"I hate leg day."

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.

"If you're so interested in watching reality, how about watching your baby brother?"