Birthday Celebrators Who Love Irony Pillows

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

End the Winter Blues

"I'm here for the hair."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

Happy Birthday!

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

Happy birthday to you!

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

Sixty

"Oh, darn, and just as I was beginning to take charge of my life."

"I'm serious, I've never had to buy a belated birthday card."

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

Nothing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY better than a cake that resembles your nose...

'You get the diet book which you won't read, the exercise bar which you won't use and the workout CD which you won't watch, for only $29.99.'

'Congratulations, it's a statistic.'

As he approached his birthday, Gerald really wanted less of a stomach above the waterline. So, he just added more water and enjoyed his bath.

'21 Today - he wants the key of the door...'