Bird Song Enthusiast Pillows

'I know how worked up everyone is, but let's keep the bird calls to a minimum.'

This was one time Joe regretted being an expert at bird song.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

Spring Training

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Canada Goose Jackets

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."