Bird-loathing Artist Pillows

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Lovely dovetail."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"Why am I irate? A: You turn my eggs into omelets each morning. B: Not once have you offered me even a nibble."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'd say my biggest influence is probably Pollock."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

Artist paints tree which drops leaves.

"We've only got one parrot remember."

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

'I HAVE to put it in my mouth first.'

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Artist Hazards

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."

'Hey guys, wouldn't it be alot easier if we just wore layers?'

Scientist taking air quality reading on roof with canary wearing gas mask.

Bates Motel Birdhouse

'He's been binge drinking again.'

"I keep telling you, poppy-seed bagels are nothing but trouble."

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

"She does bird impressions."

"The problem with being a roadrunner is coping with the darn potholes! I've twisted my ankle again..."

Flower Trumpet

I Speak Your Weight: "Lay off the pizza and chips!"

Darwin misses witnessing unnatural selection.

The Swan.

Owl Texting: 2wit,2wu