Bird Feeder Whisperer Pillows

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Quick, start the car!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Gardener

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"That is an outrageous slur."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"