Bird Feeder Advocate Gifts

'Hey, I just flew in from the coast and boy are my arms tired! Wow, I thought this would be the right audience for that joke! But seriously...'

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

"Pass that."

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'How do they know it's breakfast time? It's your garden clock, birdbrain!'

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

Adapting to global warming.

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

"Pardon me, Karen. Would you be filling the bird feeder soon? Asking for a friend..."

"I think the birds are hungry Jane..."

A Carrot: 'Who's a pretty farmer then?'

'If birds reproduce by laying eggs, what's this BIRDSEED stuff all about?'

A woman breaks a loaf of bread into breadcrumbs for the ducks.

'You should see the bird feeder I built. It's 100% squirrel proof.'

'I'm not comfort eating . . . she's comfort feeding.'

'She lithpth!'

Poe at the Park

The origin of the Easter Bunny/ Easter egg connection

'They want full access to the feeders or they're going to show us their own version of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds.''

'Are you a friend or a relative of the bird?'

"My tactic is to feed the squirrels so much they're too fat to climb the bird feeder."

"He doesn't talk much but he does some amazing impressions."

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you're overfeeding the birds!"

"It's not intended to be an exotic plant garden...it's where we used to have the bird feeder."

'George! Come and look at your squirrel-proof feeder!'

"Take us to your feeder."

'How many times have I told you? Huh? How many times? ... No playing ball in the nest!'

Death in park

Happy cows go in barn and come out incased in machines marked milk,cheese,meat,leather

Ducks strangled by bagels. Park keeper says: 'Perhaps bagels were not the best option.'

Don't forget the birds - they are having a hard time of it.

"If you need any advice on how to end up like me, I'm your man."