Bird Appreciator Pillows

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Knight feeding his kids.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Spring Training

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."