Bird Appreciator T-Shirts

I don't know about you, but I've never felt so useless.

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Polluted geese

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Knight feeding his kids.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Spring Training

Canada Goose Jackets

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."