Bird Connoisseur T-Shirts

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'You know too much!'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

Knight feeding his kids.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Canada Goose Jackets

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Spring Training

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."