Bipartisanship Buff Pillows

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'What's wrong now?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

CIA report

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"Useless information"

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Moulting"

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

I kicked him upstairs to Diaz, Diaz kicked him over to Fennelson, and Fennelson evidently kicked him out the window.

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

'Look at this story... 'Jewish settlers are going on building houses'!'

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"From this you make a living?"

"If you could just stop threatening to invade us every 5 minutes... that would be great."

Viva Belarus!

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.