Biological Parent Pillows

Parents teacher conference.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Just be yourself."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Polly txt speak

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Grace For Flies

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'