Biography Lovers Pillows

For Sale - The rights to my story.

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Divine Desk Bins

Author of 'The Big Pop-up Book' popping up out of a folding table.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

Ten Commandments

Henrik Ibsen,

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

Shakespeare Quote

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

Pinocchio Vs. Dracula

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

Thomas Keneally

"It's my autobiography. I call it, 'I Married Her For Her Money, And Other Gross Miscalculations'."

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

The Month of August

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

Little Red Riding Hoodie