Biography Buddy Gifts

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Is it that bad?"

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Burning the midnight oil.

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Dad, I checked a book out at the library...can you read it with me?"

"My therapist plays with my brain."

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"Some day, we should bait our hooks."

'You reek of crackers.'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Writers wait in their area of expertise.

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"Well dudes, gotta go. My honey needs a lot of attention."

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

Turning off the thinking lightbulb at home time.

Pizza Study Party

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

Lessons.

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."