Bills Avoider Pillows

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"I charge by the grain."

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

"Honestly, Kate—can you picture us in a shopping mall?"

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'Can you put the rubbish out in next door's garden.'

'I've got to work for my allowance? What kind of entitlement program is that??'

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

Island Rent Due.

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

Dilemma of a man with no mechanical skills (Mail order bride requires some assembling).

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."