Bills Gifts

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

'We forgot to pay the phone bill.'

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

'Money? But it says here you will pay my bills free of charge!'

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

"Thank you for ringing your energy company. Please leave a message after the laughter..."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"I charge by the grain."

Medical Billing & Coding

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

Duel Fuel?

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

"His ingrowing solicitor was playing up again."

'No, it wasn't a horror movie, It was the gas bill'

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'