Billing Practices T-Shirts

'Are these billable hours?'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Exploring Healthcare Careers

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"I charge by the grain."

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

Medical Billing & Coding

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

"Remember the longer the jury stays out the more the more hours I have to bill."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Gentlemen, this has materially changed the way we grease palms."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'