Billing Banterer T-Shirts

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Wine Talking

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Oh for God's sake just ignore it!'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"Sipsies?"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

Fined Dining

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

"I'm hoping that someday I might be reunited with my biological hair."

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'

'I hate harmonica music.'

Man not charged enough for first opinion.

"It's the big guy."

"Skip parts A through H and fill out the I, O and U ones!"

"Go on, impress me." "I can talk to animals."

"What are we actually celebrating here tonight?"