Bill Banterer T-Shirts

'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'

Fined Dining

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

Wine Talking

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'Oh for God's sake just ignore it!'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sipsies?"

Musical Accidents

'You've had enough!'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

"Who's a pretty boy?"

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

Thank you for not engaging in pointless debates.

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"The reason I couldn't make it as a lawyer is I couldn't pass a bar."

'I hate harmonica music.'