Billiard Jokester Gifts

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Is the water cold?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

Racketeer

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"A catfish ate my homework."

Snooker.

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Chick Billiard Ball

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"You don't need English on every shot."

Pommel Horse Poops.

'Is it just me, or does this water feel unnaturally warm?'

Play golf on the billiards table.

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Bomb's Away

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

'Vodka!'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'