Billiard Jokester Gifts

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Is the water cold?'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

7 14 4 11 P. You're sure it was the guy with no number?

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Racketeer

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"A catfish ate my homework."

Chick Billiard Ball

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

I don't care if you hate that word – I'm hangry.

Snooker.

"You don't need English on every shot."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Pommel Horse Poops.

'Is it just me, or does this water feel unnaturally warm?'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

Play golf on the billiards table.

Bomb's Away

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

God lines up Siding Spring to pot Mars in the middle pocket.

I've never seen octopi in a school. They were all expelled for making armpit noises!

'Here's a twenty. Go nuts.'

Jurassic Par.

'Vodka!'