Bill Virtuoso Gifts

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

An informed voter is a good voter

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Vegetable Cook

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Planting veggies

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Cooking with Pierre

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Show and Tell.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Coleridge'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

It's the biofuel generation.

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

The Authentic Christmas.

You will always find a spot to garden

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Poetry repairman