Bill Virtuoso Gifts

I can make ends meet but a permanent relationship is out of the question.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

An informed voter is a good voter

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Vegetable Cook

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

Planting veggies

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Cooking with Pierre

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Mom's restaurant - 'You can't leave until you've eaten your greens.'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

Show and Tell.

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Poetry repairman

Writer

You will always find a spot to garden

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

The Authentic Christmas.

It's the biofuel generation.