Bill Scrutinizer Pillows

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

Nuclear Security Summit

CATCHY NAME

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

Medical Billing & Coding

"There must be an app for this..."

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

"Government requires that we lower the bar."

"Your bill includes a 10% surcharge that goes towards raising awareness of the rampant overcharging in the legal fraternity."

'Hey, there's a spot - pull in there!'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Gonzo Marketing - batteries not included in batteries.

Testing Division - How did my expenses claim stand up?

"Oh for goodness' sake, Brian. As if our gas bill wasn't high enough already!"

'This is a rip-off!'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

Smoking Gun

"These pills are $10 if you're paying for them... and $200 if your company is paying for them."

"$865 attorney fee, $198 title insurance fee, $150 administration fee, $135 title search fee, and heck, let's add a $200 'at this point the client probably won't notice anyway' fee."

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

'Could you give me details of where I can find the nearest Post Office.'

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

Inland Revenue 'Think Disallowable'

"I never sign without reading it first."

'I'm not a racist - I hate everyone.'

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fats.