Contract Scrutinizer Pillows

"I never sign without reading it first."

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

CATCHY NAME

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"Basically, by signing here, you consent to letting me manage any life prolonging medical treatments."

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'