Chief Contract Checker Pillows

"The little one? That's for small print!"

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

Corporate Lawyers

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"We're all metric now..."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Yes, you paid for the product and the plan, but there's an extra charge for actually using it."

"Why would I lie to you? I pay lawyers to do that."

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

Ask about the incentive plan - Miss one payment and we take you to court.

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

Aways read the small print.

A. Einstein. E = MC2. Yes, I do space-time research, but that doesn't mean I know how to get you out of your timeshare contract.

"It doesn't bother me so much since he signed that NDA."

Solicitor Reading House Deeds

Does that mean we got the War Office contract, Harris?

'Sorry boss, we lost 5-0. What are you eating?'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."