Contract Reader Pillows

"I wouldn't spend too long reading it - the first payment's almost due."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

No Immediate Danger

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Yes, That Was The Exit

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'It's almost as if they knew!'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"Norman doesn't like any loose ends in his contracts, he likes everything tied up tight...it can be a problem..."

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."