Medical Bill Scrutinizer Pillows

"These pills are $10 if you're paying for them... and $200 if your company is paying for them."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

Medical Billing & Coding

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

'Don't worry, I'll do all I can for you until your health insurance cancels you for getting sick.'

Malpractice Problems

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

An eye doctor tests a patient's eyesight by having him read an eye chart that starts with "Fight Socialized Healthcare...".

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'The pain went away as soon as you said it would cost 40,000 dollars!'

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."

'Donald came out of the recovery room this morning, bit had to go back after seeing the bill.'

'Mark my words! If we physicians allow the establishment of a nursing profession...'

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

'It's bad news - my bill's ready.'

"Just let me go through your notes..."

"A new kidney is no problem. Do you want to buy or lease?"

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'Either pay your bill or I'll let you go crazy.'

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

"The nice part is you're in the right place for resucitation if you pass out from the bill."

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

'Bad news,Mister Hogwhite - your hospital Plan has taken a turn for the worse!'