Bill Inspector Pillows

"Oh for goodness' sake, Brian. As if our gas bill wasn't high enough already!"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Tax Collector

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Please help me! Every payday, I get robbed some gangsters called 'Fiscal Authority'!

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.