Bill-balancing Birds Pillows

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

House of books.

Information Tightrope.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

DIY Shelves

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

"I charge by the grain."

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

Red book

Ballerina drying her laundry

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

"Warren serves as my aggregator."

"We lawyers are very conscientious about our charges and I remember that one specifically: I called to wish you a happy birthday and I got your answering machine so I just billed you a quarter of an hour."

'Poor me. . . pour me a drink!'

Business restraining law firms

'We're a two-income family. In come the bills and in come the taxes!'

'Every 'creative accountant' needs a muse...'

No Hawkers...

'He's only been retired a week, but little by little Durwood is learning to relax...'

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

"Separate checks as always, Dr Jekyll."

'I also examined you for insurance but didn't find any.'

'It's Artie from Accounting. Apparently he was trying to cover his rear, watch his back, bury his head in the sand and balance the books, when something just SNAPPED!'

"In order to help the environment, Edward is only using paper bags now."

'Why do you keep his head covered?' (Ugly bird).

Library