Bilingual Beginner Pillows

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Today we learned to count to one.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'Roughly translated I believe you said 'Hello, Sailor' dear.'

Subtitles are often used in film productions

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

Karate club.

"Can I spend night at Cruz's house? Por favor? Tu R's bst eva paps!"

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"Stop worrying! It can't be THAT hard to learn Chinese - all the children speak it here!"

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

Jean Chrétien: I don't speak good English, but I French very well!

Chère Maman

'where do you plug it in?'

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

"Really, I'm still a beginner, but Master insists on putting clips of my piano practice on the internet: How embarrassing..."

"It's the night of the bilingual telemarketers!"

'Which of this stuff is good for me, and which of this stuff will I actually enjoy?'

Reading for Beginners

"OK...let's practice your Spanish! And we'll start with things you know...like this! Your computer joystick! In Spanish, it's...it's...el joystick."

IRS: File Tax Returns Here At Your Own Risk

"It took 3 years, but I finally learned how to use the flashlight and camera on my phone. Now our kids can't make fun of me for not being tech-savvy!"

"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."

'There's no easy way to say this... IDIOSYNCRASY.'