Bilingual Beginner T-Shirts

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Today we learned to count to one.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

Subtitles are often used in film productions

'Roughly translated I believe you said 'Hello, Sailor' dear.'

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"Can I spend night at Cruz's house? Por favor? Tu R's bst eva paps!"

Karate club.

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"Stop worrying! It can't be THAT hard to learn Chinese - all the children speak it here!"

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

Jean Chrétien: I don't speak good English, but I French very well!

'where do you plug it in?'

"It's the night of the bilingual telemarketers!"

Reading for Beginners

'Which of this stuff is good for me, and which of this stuff will I actually enjoy?'

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

"Really, I'm still a beginner, but Master insists on putting clips of my piano practice on the internet: How embarrassing..."

IRS: File Tax Returns Here At Your Own Risk

"OK...let's practice your Spanish! And we'll start with things you know...like this! Your computer joystick! In Spanish, it's...it's...el joystick."

"It took 3 years, but I finally learned how to use the flashlight and camera on my phone. Now our kids can't make fun of me for not being tech-savvy!"

"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."

'There's no easy way to say this... IDIOSYNCRASY.'

Vanity Publishing - The customer is always write