Dedicated Newbie Pillows

Entry-Level Job.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

Batman's Baby

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Triple whammy."

Please seat to be weighted.

Bubbie Selfies

Computer books for dummies.

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

Fisherman's new baby.

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

Health Club Shop. DVD. Books. Do you have a simple guide to better abs? "Tummies for Dummies" would be good for you.

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

Welcome to our team.

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'Your first trial?'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

"Not discovered the 'Delete' key yet Edith?"

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."