Biker With A Heart Of Gold Pillows

'Ernie may look tough, but he's really a geek at heart.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Dairy Devil

'We're all getting older ok!' 'These days I'm down to the speed of sound!'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Hell's Anglers

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

Old Biker: Now that I'm a real biker, all the old babes will want my body.

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

What to do if the kids take away your car.

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

9 To 5 Tattoo.

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

At the Old Bikers' Home

'I just go where the bike takes me.'

Easy Riders Of The Old West.

Electronics. He's fascinated by the fast forward feature.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"For goodness sake, dear, it's only an electric bicycle."

The Skullsmashers gang was known for was cruel and inhuman initiation rituals.

Hells singles

Christian Motorcyclists Association

"Wild rice Krispy treat."

'Well how about that? Lady Godiva got herself a Harley!'

"I shaved my entire body and spent $2,600 on lighter bike components. Guess who's riding .04 miles per hour faster now?"

As Jeff cycled up the hill he realised he was in the wrong gear.

'Don't be late home, tonight's your bath night'

'I want something that says I'm a death and sex obsessed psycho... with a heart of gold.'

"I hear your fix choppers."

They were right, this is a tough bunker.

"He was riding his motorcycle with his mouth open! Let's just say it was an unpleasant experience for both of us..."