Big Question Enthusiast Gifts

The National Association of Conspiracy Theorists will meet here tonight at 7:00...or will they?

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'Do you ever contemplate life's big questions?'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Truth

'If we had a bill of rights that got wronged, would it be right or wrong for a judge to right that wrong?'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Children's questions

'I always answer their questions with a question - it drives them nuts!'

Curious George, Dad

'Science versus religion?'

Chicken and Egg playing baseball.

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

Another Cerebral Question. The future is right in front of us and we can't see it. The past is behind us and we can see it. What kind of logic is that?!

"What do you mean I ask too many questions?"

"Mind if I ask a Bloody Good Question?"

"Is there a section at the bottom for comments?"

'It's just life, it has no meaning. I'm hungry.'

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

'The teacher says you're very clever for your age!'

'How can he have an attention deficit when he has so many nice things to hold his attention?'

"I stand corrected. There ARE such things as stupid questions."

'I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday - but, I guess I say that about everything everyone says, everyday.'

"Well, Pendergast, I stand corrected on that part about there being no dumb questions."

Personnel. If you were a tree, what kind would it be? Some sort of nut, I'm sure!

'It is dead, Schrodinger - I can smell it from here.'

Man considering Reincarnation or Heaven

'If Margaret, who had two children by her first marriage and one by her second, marries George, who has one child by his first marriage...'