Big Dog Owner Gifts

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like...

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

'Well this is awkward.'

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

'That was fun!'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Walking Services

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Dog Nightmares

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Love a Mutt

Haute Suture

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'Super Dog'