Big Brother Buff Gifts

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

'Notice how the eyes seem to follow you around the room?' (Guy talking about painting - girl looking up at CCTV).

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'It looks like our data.'

"Shall we put it in play?"

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Body Systems

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"Go to sleep, or she'll sing it again."

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'I'm a voice over artist.'

Origin of the Universe/Big Bang Theory/Big Cowlick Theory

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"Today we'll explore the origin of the cartoon universe. Also know as the 'Cartooniverse'."

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.