Big Babies Pillows

"Is your spouse bad at babying you when you're sick?"

"His first out-of-body experience."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

A midwife holding a baby

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

Mother Nature

Resourceful toddler

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

'Hm-m-m - it sleeps most of the time. I think it must be some kind of cat.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'