Water Baby Pillows

Mistaken baby ducks.

Will you remember this

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

'Good thing you came in when you did. If you hadn't, you might've drowned.'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Late night teddy reading

A midwife holding a baby

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'