Bidding Fanatic Pillows

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'And this just in from the stock market... buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, buy!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I got it in the sales."

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

'If at first you don't succeed, admit failure and ask for a bailout.'

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Enough EBAY already!'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

Grants Office Scientific Research Section.

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

Minnesota State Fair.

A measured response to the budget speech.

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

'It was the best of investment times, it was the worst of investment times...' (A Tale of Two Markets).

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

Antiques Roadshow or Bust!

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

"I brought this electric guitar on ebay last week."

'Can you direct me to the publisher of the Harry Potter books?'

'Never mind that it's silly, we've got a four years grant to find out what Sodium Chloride is.'