Bibliophile With A Pet Twist Gifts

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Do it yourself books.

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Tree Funeral

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

K9 Literati.

Litteratti K9s.

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"Actually I never loved you."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Good book?'

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

Rattache

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's