Bibliophile Satire Gifts

The nations most brought but unread books.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Bront?saurus.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

The Modern Damocles -

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

ENNUI...(smiley face).

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

Art Vandalism

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

Hamlet.

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

'Never to be seen again!"

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

"Bring me the head of John the Baptist. Just kidding. Get me the Paulson file."

Campus. Professor Frump is the most respected faculty member here. All the other professors want to be noticed by him. This semester he's teaching three classes. But for some unknown reason lots of students are dropping the second one. He asked why this is happening. Hoping to impress him, sociology and economics scholars rushed to present him with their theories. I guess he should have been more specific when he questioned with the middle class is disappearing.

Might Versus Right.