Biblical Re-enactor Gifts

"If I had known we'd be this long wandering in the wilderness, I would never have worn these shoes."

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"But I use all of them!"

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Friend or foe?"