Biblical Bogeyman Gifts

And on the Seventh Day...

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

Free speech isn't cheap!

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Even More Disciples'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"You think it's tough down there?"

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

Moses/stranded shark

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"Then, my arthritis..."