Beverage Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Just my luck to be found by a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

'In these troubled times, I thank God there's still one barrel left we can afford.'

Spilled coffee

"Waiter, this wine is corked!"

Vampire drinking 'Blood Light'

"What'll ya have?"

"We need two crates of lager and a bottle of scotch."

'Popular in New York, it's called the Bloomberg -- less than 16 ounces, and a lot of fat -- in the head.'

'Stop at Earth to pick up wine? You know all they carry is domestics.'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Everyone wants Perrier with a twist of lime.'

I must say your enormous soda beguiles me.

Hard Water

Complimentary beverages.

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Scotch and water musick."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Party Animals.

'No ice.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

Join me in a Martini?

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"I love this time of day."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"