Betwixt Trees Teller Gifts

At least they can socially distance. When dutch elm disease came along our relatives were stuck together.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Horror Stories.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Rude Snowpeople

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Bonsai Exhibit

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Cow talking to cat up a tree.

Hanukkah tree

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'