Teller Gifts

"Don't give me too much, I'm not good with money."

'Taking the concept of 'Bank Holiday' a bit literally aren't we. . .?

"Do you have another form of photo I.D.?"

TELLER, 'You're not just a number to us, sir -- there's a whole bunch of hypens and letters, too.'

City Bank

TELLER, 'How do I go about getting a credit card refilled?'

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

Next bank please.

'What's so funny is we only have a roll of quarters left.'

"Just count it out, Henderson-don't fondle it."

Donate your Loose Change - As a matter of fact it goes to the bank.

"If bankers can count, how come they have six windows and only two tellers?"

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Four dollars and thirty-two cents? — That's your idea of a deposit?'

'I'd like to roll over my account.'

Tips encouraged by ATM machine.

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"Just a few hundred to tide me over 'til this Y2K thing is over."

'Sir, you asked me to tell you when Mr. Bouncey-Wouncey came in.'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

"That's right mister...It's a Shtick-up!"

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"You will keep an eye on it, won't you? - It doesn't work well without supervision."

'This isn't really the best time for a withdrawal, if you know what I mean.'

"Glad to see you're wearing your face mask, by the way."

"You're overdrawn Mr. Gormley..."

"Whose money is it anyway..?"

A to L, M to Z, Holdups

Distancing in Banks

Checking and Savings. Well, a penny saved is still a penny earned -- minus user's fees and transaction charges.

Bank. We put your dollars to work for you! If my dollars aren't too busy, I'd like to pick up a few.

'Taking your work home again, Bronson?'

Gangster writing large cheque.

"I picked you to rob because you have a kind and honest face."

Checking and Savings. Well, a penny saved is still a penny earned -- minus user's fees and transaction charges. (Published originally on October 1, 2005.)