Betting Shop Humorist Pillows

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Money Bar.

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

White Collar Crime.

The Euro - R.I.P.

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'The pound looks strong to day. Yes, against the Zambesi bean.'

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

"He downgraded Apple."

Falling graphs.

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.