Bestseller Skeptic Gifts

Bookshop: new in.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Descartes's Demon

"Bark bark bark woof yap!" It might be good, but I'm just not in the mood for subtitles.

"What do the know!"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

Ponzi Schemes Inc

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

'I'm looking for the book that tells how to be less materialistic without actually giving up any stuff!'

'I blame the internet.'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

"So is Cameron Diaz really a babe, or is that another thing we've been led to believe by the biased media?"

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

'Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion billion stars in our universe alone, you believe them, but if they tell you a door has wet paint, you touch it to make sure!'

"The Man Who Knew Enough"